I pace my room,
her words true
in my ears.

*tell him before
someone else does."

I cry, clutching, my pillow,
the phone silent beside me.
It finally rungs and i
brighten before i remember.

"Umm. Daniel. I. friday night.
I.."

"yes?"

"I kissed Andrew, and well..."

"But. you didn't mean
it right, he forced you.
right?"

"He is six one."

"oh. well.its' fine.I am
not mad."

"ok. so whats' with you?"

"Ahh, long night. now i have
homework."

"Mm. sounds fun."

"oh, yeah."

"well.. you should go do that."

"Yeah. I shall see you tomorrow.
Right? at lunch."

"Yes. i will see you there."

"bye Matt."

"Bye. Daniel."

I walk into the living room, to return the phone,
but then spent the next few hours being drilled
about the weekend, but at least the heavy weight
of not having Daniel know is gone.I smile with
the thought of him, as i finally am set free
from the questioning. I am only out for
a few moments, before jumping awake for the
millionth time this week. I look around,
quickly wipe the tears from my eyes and snuggle
back into my pillow.I roll over in my sleep and
tears on my face yet agian, the clock beckons me,
but my body does not respond. I finally find my
computer and turn it on. I find myself looking at
my background.I sigh and turn on the music.

*how i dream of kissing those lips,
how i yearn to reach out and touch them,
but that seems so distant, i want it so
bad though, is it bad to think, to want to
kiss him, taste him, feel him*

I pull my pants on before i can lose myself
in his eyes and go about getting ready.
I now am sitting in my class, all i can think
about is going to lunch and seeing him. I slump
agianst th wall and close my eyes, my breathing
slows.

His lithe body, spread on my bed,
my hands running along his body,
his whimpers music to my ears,
such heat as i nibble his neck.
I love the feel of his body, his
smell, hunger every need in the
world to be close to him. He purrs
and I slip my hand into his pants,
his flesh hardening under my fingers,
coming alive as they stroke the skin,
his breathing increases as my fingers
grow warm.

"Daniel...."

I squirm a little, as i nibble
down his neck. I hold his head
with my free hand, his hot
breath and whimpers on  my ear.
I groan and shift, trying to
get comfortable...

"mmm. leave me alone."

"Matt."

"Wha...?"

I open my eyes to find my friend
waking me up.

"Lunchtime"

"Oh. Thanks."

I move in my seat, then
realize the source behind
my discomfort, a blush
creeps up my cheeks as
i remeber what I has been
thinking about. How can one
guy drive me so crazy and
I've never even tasted his lips.

"umm. what did i say?

"besides Daniel. nothing."

"oh. ok."

"Whos' Daniel."

"Umm, a friend."

"Must be a pretty good
friend."

I shrug and walk
out of the class.
I go to the the
nearest bathroom.
I prop myself
up on one of the walls
of the stall I am in.
I slowly unzip my pants
as i slump agianist the
wall, a whimper escapes
my lips. I am breathing
hard and tears run over
my lips. I sigh, brush them
away and pull my pants back
up.I wash my hands to
rid myself of the
embaressment. I walk into the
lunchroom and take my seat
beside him. He looks up for
a moment and then goes back
to eating. I watch him out
of the corner of my eye,
his tongue runs out over
his lips and his throat moves
as he swallows. He turns to
look at me and i blush.

"So. how are you?"

"Better."

"Thats' good."

"And you?"

"fine."

His eyes are entrancing.
I look away before i stare
to long, only to see my
pants have gotten
uncomfortable. I bite
my lips as a thousand
sensual images flood my
mind and i rest my hand
in my lap, to hide at
least one feeling.

*bed, lithe body,
damn. he torments
me so. his eyes, a
fire, running my
fingers through
his hair, my tounge
running across his
chest, my hot breath
on his ear, his body
squirms under mine,
his hips into me,
feeling him grow
harder, a rumble,
as i push myself
into him.*

HE move next to me
and the images are
gone. He lightly
taps me with his elbow.
I smile his way,
but my eyes are drawn to
his lips, as i supress
a shudder.

*thin, mirror of
imperfection,
wonderful imperfection,
flawed beauty that
can't be criticized
He stands u and i smile
as he walks away,
it is hard not to smile
around him, because
he makes you want to live,
want to be happy despite
the issues, so i smile*